


Weary

by ImogenSmiley



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: 52 Week Oneshot Challenge, Canon Compliant, Canon Exploration, Character Study, DIE FOR EACH OTHER, Drabble, Emotions, F/F, First Loves, Firsts, Groundhog Day, Live for Each Other, Love, Oneshot, Reliving Firsts, Time Travel, canon character death, character exploration, description, reliving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25857424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImogenSmiley/pseuds/ImogenSmiley
Summary: If she died for Madoka, it would be enough for her.Too bad Madoka seemed to share those feelings.
Relationships: Akemi Homura/Kaname Madoka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Weary

Homura Akemi was tired, seeing Madoka lay her life on the line every, single, time was driving her crazy. But there was something about her that made her so hard to not give up on. She just had to keep trying. She loved her. She loved her so much.

Madoka Kaname was never average, and Homura Akemi would damn everyone to Hell who implied she was; she was short, with the prettiest eyes and the softest hair. She was too selfless for her own good and she hoped that she would be able to make a difference in spite of herself. Maybe there was a better world in the multiverse where Madoka became the President, maybe she ended world hunger, maybe she abolished the child sex trade. She was a force of unrestricted potential, it just had to be unlocked.

Homura Akemi knew from the minute she befriended her, and watched the dumpy rosy haired girl shoot an arrow, that there was something so painfully magnetic about her. How she landed a kill-shot and stumbled backward on her high heeled shoes, skittering back two steps, cheering that she’d done it. Mami had been by her side and given her a hug. There was so much love in her eyes. In both of their eyes.

But Mami died, and then Madoka fell too, leaving no magical girls behind. Homura was stuck having to make a do or die decision, and she didn’t hesitate. Kewbie seemed to know in that moment that he had sought out a very powerful magical girl indeed. Her wish was humble and when she’d opened her eyes, and got ready to face the day ahead of her, she was right there, completely unscathed.

The cycle started all over again, but it was more emotional now, she could fight. Homura could do something to keep Madoka safe, and that was all that mattered. She didn’t want any of the girls to get hurt, but she would accept any death, even her own, as collateral damage as long as she lived. If she died, she needed to be allowed to die. If she died for Madoka, it would be enough for her.

Too bad Madoka seemed to share those feelings.

They loved in secret, but they loved gently, fiercely, wholeheartedly as teenagers do. The had magical hearts, magical souls. They had everything in front of them, and yet, nothing mattered to them more than the moment. They would hold hands after school, cheeks ablaze as they were called names, they would kiss under the underpass and dance in the ashes of witches and their dungeons. Their love was pure and as magical as they were, but each time they lived those passionate lives, they seemed to have the same, ever-painful end, with Madoka lying dead, in a pool of her own blood, with only Homura left.

And so the cycle would begin again. Their love getting more passionate, more frantic on Homura’s part, the urgency of each touch, each kiss, each exchange of “I love you”s meaning more. She would have said it on the first day if she could.

She knew that, deep down, Madoka would know. She could hate her but deep, deep, deep down she would know there was something more. There was something that Homura knew, that she couldn’t share without signing everyone’s death certificates.

She lived that month of her life on loop with growing frustration, intense anger and a desperation to just be able to get Madoka to understand. She wanted, so desperately for it to end, so they could go on. She didn’t want to be stuck as a thirteen-year-old, desperately clinging to her first love. She wanted to be alive. She wanted to grow old with her girlfriend by her side. She wanted to close that chapter and exist in a world where they could deal with the trauma they had experienced, the people they couldn’t save and process how special each of them were. Homura knew with each failure she was closer to succeeding.

But her success wasn’t tangible. She couldn’t hold her, she couldn’t hug her, kiss her, tell her secrets and swear an undying loyalty. Even though she knew that she had, in her dreams, hundreds of times over, sworn that she would let her heart beat strong enough for the pair of them if she had to. Even if her body yearned for death, she would open her eyes once again. Madoka would keep her going.

Madoka would always keep her going.


End file.
